John (not his real name) was a student in my first grade class and, nine years later, was also a student in my husband Ed’s high school biology class. I remember him as a lively red-haired little guy. By the time he was in high school, “lively” would be a mild term. Ed saw through the antics and challenged this bright young man to live up to his potential. After he graduated from high school, John joined the Marines. Ed and I kept in touch, often taking him out for lunch when he was home on leave. We’d lost touch for a while, and were excited to receive an invitation to his wedding this fall. Of course, we had to go.
My thoughts from Phoenix to Indianapolis on a recent trip:
Traffic from Tucson to Phoenix is horrendous
Glad we reserved a parking space in the garage.
Made it to the airport in plenty of time
Ed’s bag doesn’t get through security. “Do you have any aerosols in here?”“NO.” “What’s this?” Agent pulls out a container of shaving cream.“I forgot about that…” Dangerous shaving cream tossed in trash.
Spent $18 on a sandwich, bottle of water, and Rolaids to take on the plane. Sheesh!
Group 6 boarding…Waiting…waiting…finally board and find our seats. Right behind the wing. Ed has to have an aisle seat. He thinks the aisle seat gives him more room to stretch his legs, but can he really? I don’t think you’re allowed to stick your legs into the aisle. I take the middle seat.
Lucky day! The plane is loaded and no one is in the window seat! I move over leaving the middle seat open. Wiggle room!
American Airlines is offering free movies on your own device. I finally get it figured out and get Ed settled in with Ghost Busters. They look so tiny on his phone’s little screen, but Ed’s content and occupied. I settle in with a book.
Had a hard time packing for this trip…high 80s in Phoenix, will be 50s-60s and probably rainy in Indiana.
Going to a wedding…in a barn…invite said “casual formal”…what the heck does that mean?
Packed my only dress. It’s sleeveless. Threw in a jean jacket and boots. Is that casual formal? It’s a barn wedding… Indiana… In October…I’ll be fine.
Dinner. Ed and I share the $12 sandwich I bought before boarding, Airline pretzels round out the meal. Eating slowly so we can relax with our masks off for an extra moment or two.
I dangle my mask from one ear so everyone knows I have one and will put it on as soon as I finish eating and drinking. I’m such a rule follower…
On American Airlines you get a whole can when you order a diet Coke…not just a little cup. I almost feel like I’m in first class. I refill my little cup of ice three times!
One hour in…the bathroom line forms…probably all those people who drank a whole can of Diet Coke.
Two more hours to go. Hope I can hold out. Rather not use the plane bathroom unless I have to.
11:00 pm Indy time… dark, but I can tell we’re getting close. We experience turbulence as we descend through dense cloud cover. Why is it always raining when I get to Indiana? I hope I get to see some Fall leaves. The Fasten Seatbelt sign blinks on as we bump into Indianapolis.
Threads of thought
It’s interesting to be traveling again. Have you ventured out yet?
RV trip day 4: I wake up to the sound of Melanie’s chatter coming from the sleeping loft. For once, I don’t hear rain. It seems dark out, but I discover it’s just the canopy of the forest at McCormick’s Creek. I check the time on my phone…8:30. We slept in this morning. Peeking out from the pop-out sleeping section, I see Melanie coming down the ladder. She’s an old pro at that now. “Good morning! Are you ready for another RV day?”
“Yes!” she says as she helps herself to a bowl of Frosted Flakes and some yogurt.
After breakfast, I help Melanie wash up and put on clean clothes. We’re still not sure how much water is in the tank, so we’re not using the tiny RV shower. So far we’ve been getting by with using the community showers (some are better than others) or just washing up in the sink. We plan to stop by Ed’s mom’s house in Ellettsville for lunch on the way to Versailles. I’ll shower there. I put on yesterday’s clothes (or did I sleep in them?…at this point I’m not sure… after three days in the wild, I fear I’m returning to my natural state.)
On the road again…
The drive from McCormicks Creek to Versailles is our longest drive yet, just shy of 100 miles. After a quick stop at Ed’s mom’s for lunch (and a shower) it takes us about two-and-a-half hours on the road. Riding in the RV is a major part of the fun for Melanie; that’s why we planned to be in a different park each night. She loves to view the world go by from the familiar surrounding in the RV. Sometimes she naps or plays on her iPad, but often she simply enjoys the ride.
Making microwave s’mores
It’s not raining when we pull into our campsite at Versailles, but it’s hot and humid, and the mosquitos are out. We pull together leftovers for dinner and eat in the RV. The playground isn’t close to our campsite. Instead, we take a walk around the campgrounds after dinner, then Melanie helps me make s’mores (in the microwave this time)
Solitaire together
Melanie’s nest
After observing Ed’s solitaire game, she makes herself comfortable in the loft.
At 11:00 we get ready for bed, lights out. All is well… but then, it’s not.
Restless night
Melanie is wound up. From the curtained loft we hear giggling, random noises, and word-for-word reenactments of favorite Disney movie scenes. She’s moving around so much the RV is rocking. Is she tired? Too much sugar from the late-night s’mores? Overstimulated from 4 days on the road? Probably all the above.
We let it go, hoping she’ll calm herself. By 11:30 Poppy’s had enough. “Melanie, be quiet. Go to sleep,” he says in his science teacher voice. For the next half hour we both gave several more “reminders.” Nothing works.
My Sunshine
Out of desperation, I try a different tactic. I find a book in her backpack, climb the ladder and lie down beside her. “Let’s read ‘Rainbow Fish’,” I say. She doesn’t look at me or respond, but scoots over to make room. She pulls her blanket under her chin and I tuck it in around her. Melanie steals glances at the pictures in the book as I read softly and slowly. She settles down.
After the story ends, I ask if she wants me to sing “You Are My Sunshine,” a song her Daddy sings to her. “Sunshine!” she says, and I begin to sing. My voice quavers a little as I choke back tears. Melanie often lives in her own little world. It’s not often that we get to cross over into it. I know this is a rare moment of connection I will always treasure. I kiss her forehead, whisper goodnight, and tiptoe down the ladder, facing out, Melanie style.
Home Day
The next morning, we have breakfast, then Melanie and I go over the chart we have been keeping since our first morning. She repeats after me: Monday, RV-done, Tuesday, RV-done, Wednesday, RV-done, Thursday, RV-done. Friday…what’s happening today?
HOME! she says
The playground isn’t as far as I thought, so we walk up for one last romp, then go back to pack up the RV.
RV Guy
The “Cousin Eddie ” moment. Just missing the robe, boots and hat.
On the way out, we stop by the “dumping” station. This is something we weren’t looking forward to, but it’s necessary to clean out the tank before we return the RV to its owner.
It wasn’t that bad. (Says the lady who doesn’t have to put on rubber gloves and handle the hose that expels the toxic waste.)
As we drive along, I look over at Ed as he makes a subtle nod and wave to a passing RV.
“Hey! Did you just salute that RV driver?” I say.
“Yep. That’s what us RV Guys do.”
“So can we get one?”
“Nope.”
Oh well…
Final Musings
I look back at Melanie buckled in the passenger seat. She’s cocooned herself with her pillow, blanket, and Disney princess dolls and is fast asleep .It’s been an amazing adventure for us all. One that was a decade (plus one) in the making. I plan to make a Shutterfly photo book for her with simple text so she can read it and remember the fun we had. Yet, I wonder what Melanie thinks about her trip? What will she remember? Did we make a connection into her world?
A few days after the RV trip, the family gathered for a Father’s Day lunch. As she was leaving to go home, Melanie came back, reached for Ed’s hand and gave it a squeeze.
Poppy and Melanie share a moment at Spring Mill State Park
Threads of Thought
Thanks to all who have followed us on this Decade trip. My heart has been warmed by your compassion and comments, especially from those who have children or grandchildren with special needs. In writing this 4 part series, I hope I have given some insights into the joys and challenges facing autistic children, their parents, and grandparents.
Many believe it’s time to shift the conversation from Awareness to Acceptance so those with autism can find fulfillment in all areas of their lives. A simple change in our vocabulary can lead us further towards accepting autistic individuals ,and others with special needs, for the unique gifts, perspectives, and personalities they bring to our world.
And if I change Ed’s mind about buying an RV, you may see us at your next camp outing !
Besides being Melanie’s grandmother, I’m a retired teacher, traveler, blogger, and author. Read about my transition from teaching in Out of the Crayon Box: Thoughts on Teaching, Retirement, and Life http://amazon.com/author/debravandeventer
On day three of Melanie’s Decade trip we visit McCormick’s Creek State Park where we hike, have a cookout, and are “bugged” by some noisy neighbors.
McCormick’s Creek State Park
Brings back childhood memories.
The historic Canyon Inn
A beautiful spot to relax
I grew up in Bloomington, Indiana, close to McCormick’s Creek (Indiana’s first state park) and have many fond memories of family picnics here. I love the historic Canyon Inn with its cozy lodge interior. It’s a great place for a relaxing get-away, but won’t be checking in. Today we have accommodations of the RV sort.
The road less traveled…
We wind our way down into the dense forest and find our campsite. Ed backs the RV in this time with remarkable ease. He’s getting the hang of this! This is my favorite campsite by far. We are nestled deep into the woods. Our “neighbors” like it, too. In fact, they’ve arrived in droves. This would be a good time to introduce the visitors who’ve been bugging us throughout this trip.
Meet the Cicadas
Although they have their own particular beauty, the red eyes creep me out.
Yes, it’s their year too. If you live anywhere in the Midwest, you’ve probably seen them. Timed perfectly with Melanie’s decade trip this June, these “Brood X” cicadas are actually 17 years old. They’ve spent their entire life underground, tunneling and feeding beneath the soil. Now they’ve come above ground to mate and die. The rhythmic drone the males emit is a mating call. We’ve had to swat a few away, and we’ve found dead ones on the ground, but mostly, they seem to be in the trees, looking to score and lay their eggs before birds gobble them up. Their chorus has been serenading us from dawn to dusk throughout this trip, but in the dense woods of McCormick’s Creek State Park, the sound is deafening.
Melanie loves to swing, the motion is calming to her.
The Cicada Serenade doesn’t seem to bother Melanie. After we set up camp, we headed out on a short hike. Then Melanie and I go to the playground.
Cookout
A good start…could use more wood.
Despite the rain we’ve been having, I was determined to have at least one campfire experience. We’d purchased a bundle of “state approved” firewood at a gas station on our way to the park. Just enough for a small fire. At 6:00, Melanie’s tummy alarm goes off. “Pancakes?” she asks. “No, Poppy is going to cook hot dogs on the fire tonight, let’s go watch!” I say. She’s only mildly interested and comes back inside to help me make microwave mac and cheese.
A speedy dinner
When the hot dogs are ready, we go outside for a family meal. Melanie gobbles down her meal, first the mac and cheese, then the hot dog, then the bun. Before Ed and I can even get started she wants to go back inside. This isn’t the “hallmark moment” I was expecting. I remind myself that she’s processing many new interactions and experiences on this trip and I’m learning to balance her need for stimulation with her need for down time.
S’more time!
Hey…does Poppy have two?
Our little fire is slowly dying. I wish we’d bought 2 bundles of wood, but we have just enough coals for S’mores. “Let’s take our marshmallows outside and make s’mores.” I say as I gather up the roasting sticks, graham crackers, and chocolate. This gets her attention. “Marshmallows?” she asks.
Yum!
We spear a marshmallow and Ed shows her where to put it so it will toast just right. She’s impatient, and her marshmallow catches fire. No worries. We blow out the flames and mash the charred, melty blob between two graham crackers. She chooses not to include the chocolate. “Would you like to do another one?” Ed asks. “Yes!”
Day is done…
Soon we’re back in the RV washing sticky fingers. Melanie settles into the loft with tonight’s movie feature: “Beauty and the Beast” and Ed and I resume our Gin Rummy tournament at the dinette. This time I won. Five games to four.
Tomorrow we’re on the move again. Our last stop on the Decade Trip RV tour is Versailles State Park where more adventures await…
Threads of thought:
How do you like your s’mores?
Classic: Marshmallows (roasted over a fire), Graham Crackers, Hershey’s chocolate
Gourmet: have you discovered a unique recipe?
Besides being Melanie’s grandmother, I’m a traveler, sewist, blogger, retired teacher, and author! Read about my transition from teaching to the world “outside of the Crayon Box”http://amazon.com/author/debravandeventer
Seams Like a Story is taking a break from sewing to go on some summer adventures. It’s the summer of Melanie’s Decade trip and we are determined to make it fun for our special needs granddaughter as we travel around Indiana State Parks. In this post we leave Brown County and head to Spring Mill State Park.
A New Day Begins
Cinnamon Toast Crunch, a good choice!
Melanie consults her iPad to make sure Ariel’s colors are just right.
After some initial resistance, Melanie slept well and we got a (sort-of) decent night’s sleep. We wake up to rain in Brown County. Coffee, tea and breakfast are the first order of business. Melanie finishes her cereal and begins a coloring project.
Do you remember these swings from your childhood?
When the rain stops, we get dressed and find a nearby playground. Melanie is very tactile. She’s attracted to the water-filled sand box, but I divert her attention to the novel tire swing. After a quick lunch we pack up the RV and are on our way to Spring Mill State Park. It rains on us through Bloomington, Bedford, and Mitchell.
The Pioneer Village
Umbrellas make everything more fun!
The old mill is no longer working, but sill impressive.
I wonder what Melanie is thinking.
When we got to Spring Mill State Park, we drove straight to the reconstructed pioneer village. By now the rain had slowed to a slight drizzle. Melanie was excited that we were using umbrellas! We weren’t sure how she would react to the old structures. Would they interest her? As we went inside each one, I made comments: “Look at that funny old bed.” “I wonder why they hung the chairs on the wall?” She was curious and followed along without complaining for nearly an hour. When we got to the last house I asked Melanie if she wanted to go in. “Bye House.” she said as she walked on. I think she’d had enough!
Our home on wheels
It was a short drive to our campsite. When we got there, I assumed my waving and yelling job again as Ed attempted to back the RV into the site. It took four tries, but we finally made it. This site has sewer and water hookups, but the hoses we have aren’t long enough to reach the outlets. Good thing we still have bottled water.
The weather cooperates and we explore our new surroundings. We meet the neighbors next door and discover just how friendly RV people are. They give me a guided tour of their new pull-behind. It has it all, even a special drawer to designed to hold wine bottles. Their RV is beautiful. Now I want one.
Settling in
After dinner, rain sets in again and we get cozy in our home on wheels. Time doesn’t really matter as we disconnect from the world. No TV, internet, and phone service is spotty. Kelli has downloaded Disney movies on an old laptop for Melanie and she’s content to watch “Lady and the Tramp” in her nest in the sleeping loft. Ed and I ramp up our Gin Rummy game at the dinette. This time we’re serious; we’ve looked up the official rules. He beats me 5 games to 3. Everyone is tired tonight and we begin the bedtime routine earlier. At 11:00 lights are out. Melanie rustles for a while, but falls asleep much faster than last night. Goodnight world.
