Tall Candle Dinners

You’re invited…are the candles tall?

In her 1922 book on Etiquette, Emily Post says when setting the proper table “candlesticks or candelabra must be high and the candles as long as the proportion can stand. There are candles on all dinner tables always! “

Well, that was then, this is now, I hear you saying. Emily was no doubt referring to high- society entertaining, not our everyday grab-and-go dinners of today. I get it, but let me introduce you to my thoughts on candle etiquette.

Tall Candle Dinners

My husband and I enjoy having people over for dinner. He does the cooking and right before the guests arrive I set the table, making sure to include a small centerpiece of fresh flowers and candles. We have found that candlelight and dimmed overhead lighting along with a wonderful meal and a glass or two of good wine contributes to engaging conversations around the table. Often our guest remain at the table for hours, staying until the candles are stubs of melted wax in the candleholders.

Family dinners

The candle tradition extends to our family dinners as well. We live a distance from our grown children and granddaughters, so mealtimes together are cherished occasions. When we get a chance to gather for a meal at our house, we always light candles and start with a toast. We clink our wine, or iced tea, or water glasses together and let each other know how happy we are to be together.

Table for Two

Of course, Valentine’s Day, birthdays and anniversaries warrant a candlelight dinner, but I’ve noticed that lately, when it’s just Ed and I, we often light candles for ordinary everyday dinners. Even when it’s leftovers or we think we don’t have much to talk about, the ritual of lighting the candles seems to say “This time together is important.”

A lot of candles

So, yes. This takes a lot of candles. I’m picky, but through trial and error, I’ve found the perfect ones. I kind of don’t want to tell you about them because I’m afraid you’ll get to Trader Joe and buy out their limited stock.

OK, here goes, but don’t tell anybody else: My favorite off-white, non drip inexpensive candles are only available seasonally between Thanksgiving and Christmas and during that time we buy enough to get us through the year. I only buy a couple of boxes at once though because I don’t want the cashiers to think I’m in a weird cult or something. But the other day I took inventory and think maybe I am a borderline candle hoarder. (I currently have 15 boxes x 8 candles per box…you do the math) On the bright side, If the electricity goes out, I’m prepared.

The short candle dinner

My children and close friends have a theory that if you come to my house for dinner and you see the candles in the holders are short it means we’d rather you not stay too long. No comment except to say ” There are candles on all dinner tables always! ” (according to Emily Post) and for you, my dear readers, the candles will always be long.